Child From Happy Family Believes He’s a Pony

Child From Happy Family Believes He’s a Pony

The Baxters, Fall 2009, before things got weird for the happy Rockford family of three.  L to R:  Tina, Steve The Pony, and Jerry

Rockford, IL – Steve Baxter, 10, is like most kids around Rockford, IL– most days.

The young Baxter enjoys sleeping through math and science, loves gym class and can’t wait for lunch with his friends.  However, unlike most kids in Rockford, Steve doesn’t like going home to mom and dad because they are married and happy.  Jerry and Tina Baxter have been married for 14 years.  No marital problems and they enjoy sexual activity at least once a week while Steve is sleeping– and that’s how the biggest problem with Steve began.

Steve doesn’t like to sleep in his bed and opts to fall asleep in the shed his father built.  “At first I thought nothing of it. He loves the shed, hides there, plays with Fred and Jenny sometimes after school in there. About 2 years ago, I realized there was a problem, ” as Jerry Baxter pauses to look at his wife, who nods him ahead to talk further.  “Steve wanted me to load the shed with hay straws and a pail of water he could drink from,” says Mr. Baxter, staring at the clouds.

Tina Baxter jumps in to save her husband from a breakdown, “I really thought weekend trips to the Dells to stay at our in-laws cabin would help Steve snap out of it, but it got worse this past summer.  Steve found a pile of wood and started carving a name into it, guess what it said?”

We didn’t know what to say to her as tears started to fall from her eyelids.  Mr. Baxter consoled his very attractive wife, Tina, in their kitchen, and returned to us with the shocking answer, “He carved into the wood, “Steve The Pony”. My son thinks he’s a pony.”  Tina’s makeup was running everywhere, but Jerry– so attentive to his sexually attractive wife and mother of his son, Steve, now a pony– made sure it didn’t ruin their new cream-cappuccino couch.

The Baxters returned to their Rockford home immediately to seek help for their son, but Steve claimed to them, “When I’m with you guys, I am a Pony.  When I am with all my friends at school who have divorced parents, I am Steve Baxter. I don’t need help. You need help!  You guys need a divorce!  You are so different than all my friends parents!  LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Jerry told us that Steve nailed his new headboard, that he carved his new name into, into the shed door.  “It’s gotten worse.  I’ve insulated the shed for the winter months so that he doesn’t freeze to death. We don’t know what to do.  Tina and I love each other- there is no way we are getting a divorce to make our son feel better.”

Tina concludes our meeting with stone cold eyes, quite different than her previous comments to us, “Our son is a pony. Jerry and I are so in love, unlike most Rockford area parents of children– let it be. Our son, Steve The Pony.”

– JoAnne Rankles

If any other happily married parents have children who think they’re an animal, contact us:  [email protected]



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2 comments

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  1. Michael Corcoran 26 September, 2012, 18:22

    It’s tragic that our Rockford community doesn’t have a larger support system and offer counseling to children who are suffering through life with married parents.

    Reply this comment
    • RKFD NEWS 27 September, 2012, 15:58

      Thank you for reading, Michael. We agree with you, and that is why we are pushing for happy family reforms. Programs to assist what we believe are the true minority, children from happy families, to fit in with children from broken, sad families is a huge regional problem. We want children from happy families to feel like they belong here, too.

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