Local Swedish Man Likes Big Butts and He Can Not Lie

14 Jan, 2014

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Gerald Hennsliss, a Swedish man from Rockford, IL, loses focus at the YMCA.

Rockford, IL – It took awhile for local native, Gerald Hennsliss, to realize what set him apart from other Swedish men at the Rockford YMCA.

“I found myself losing focus in the gym.  Whether I was pumping weights or shooting hoops, my attention kept fleeting.  Some of the swedish guys pointed it out to me, and that’s when I knew I couldn’t ignore my inhibitions another minute.  We only get one life to live, right?”

Hennsliss explained his admission a bit more:  “First off, I want to say how sorry I am to all the girls I’ve loved before–Sandi, Lisa, Jen, Lorraine, Shelby–and to the ones that didn’t quite work out past a few dinners and oral activities, I’ve been living a lie and I’m truly sorry. I can not lie another day about what I like and don’t like. My Swedish workout buddies have been harping on me for weeks down at the YMCA to come clean, and they’re right. I like big butts and I can not lie.”

Gerald’s revelation might be a shock to many American men–not only Swedish men–who prefer smaller butts but he’s not worried.

“I know that my honesty might not be respected as such during these tough times in Rockford. If I can not lie about liking big butts in public, maybe I’ve saved the life of another man. Not only Swedish men at the gym, but all over the United States, who can not lie about liking big butts, too,” concluded Hennsliss.

You will learn more when we know less.™

– Lisa Soland