Man Stabbed By Well-Dressed Men, No One Cares

Rockford, IL – A local man was stabbed several times Saturday morning around the 400 block of Acorn St..
William N. Trinidad III was waiting for the bus Saturday morning when he was approached by a group of young, well-dressed, caucasian men from the east side. They started stabbing him repeatedly, taking pictures and posting them to InstantGrahm. Witnesses immediately pulled out their iPhones, iPads, and Droids to view the photos, but also, so they could “Like” them or comment on their artistic appearance.
“There have been so many people stabbed lately, that no one really cares anymore. Thankfully no one has died but we have received reports that InstantGrahm is overloaded with photo uploads from the local stabbings,” said the city’s stabbing officials.
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ROCKFORD, OF ILLINOIS, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, OF NORTH AMERICA, OF EARTH, OF EVERYTHING ELSE THAT’S LAUGHING AT
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OH SIGH! I guess Billy isnt coming home tonight…DAMNIT!