Study Proves That Making Less Money Equals Less Happiness and More Death

07 Jan, 2014

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Unemployed People of Rockford are Happiest

Rockford, IL  – The Winnebago Department of Health, Transformation of Emotions and Demographic Awareness released the report to a controversial study today.  The 760 page document was put together by county scientists, physicians and economists who studied the emotional and physical behaviors of 41,363 people who reside in Rockford, IL and its surrounding region.  The study was conducted between January 2004 to December 2013.

According to the report, “People who make less money have less happiness and are most likely to die unhappy and young; especially people from Rockford with two to three jobs, no health insurance, and children to take care of.  Their expected regional lifespan is greatly affected.  We have seen an estimated 20-24 years difference in lifespan when compared to people living in Arizona who work one job.”

The WDHTEDA report also revealed:  “People without jobs in the Rockford region seem to be the happiest people.  Strangely, they will live forever and breed more than unhappy, employed, people to prove to all of us that they are the happiest people for decades to come.  If you don’t believe our report:  Listen for the laughter, they’re the happiest people and they are laughing at us.”

You will learn more when we know less.™

– JoAnne Rankles