Archive
Back to homepage
Black Friday +Bourbon County Stout =mass confusion.
ROCKFORD——-To most Rockfordians and some hillbillies from Byron, Black Friday means shitloads of coked out shoppers (that have been up all night if you know what I mean) waiting in lines four hours or more just to violently climb over
Read More
RKFDNEWS EXCLUSIVE: Michael Kleen, 2013 Mayoral Candidate, Reveals New Book: “Rockford Confidential”
Rockford, IL – Michael Kleen, author and former 2013 city of Rockford mayoral candidate, has contacted our staff with exclusive excerpts from his forthcoming 2015 book, Rockford Confidential. Kleen briefly explained his forthcoming book to us: “Rockford Confidential is a fictional
Read More
No Sidewalk Shoveling Enforcement Means Fewer Pedestrians Next Spring
Nov 21, 2014 Rockford, IL — Rockford’s City Council has once again announced that it will not enforce the sidewalk snow shoveling code for residents. For the past several years, the city has seen increasing numbers of car-vs-pedestrian accidents, yet somehow there are
Read More
Rockford is a Great Place to do Free or Underpaid Work for Wealthier People and for Sharing Positive Vibes, If You Disagree It’s Ok, You Can Do Art and Be an Artist Who Does Free and Underpaid Work For Artists So they Can Pay Their Bills While You Slowly Kill Yourself For Free but Don’t Worry, Everything Will Be OK if you Stay Positive and Smile
Rockford, IL – In an effort to transform the city of Rockford, IL, and its wonderful people into a top 25 city by the year 2025, community and business leaders are offering lower class people (who were at once considered
Read More
Large Tree Installation Hides Downtown’s Hornets Nest
Rockford, IL – A 4,000 pound tree was removed from Roscoe, IL, and transported to downtown Rockford to prepare for the holiday festivals. Thousands of street-corner-box and strip mall churchgoers will gather with misfit artists to celebrate and drink, walk the
Read More
Do not touch Poop.
Experts are learning more about how to contain the virus that has infected around 7,500 people in West Africa as you know something terrible always seems to find it’s way to Rockford so it is only a matter of time.
Read More