Breaking News
Bye bye 2021 happy 2022 rockford smells still New Year: Covid Update
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms
...0I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0
Large Tree Installation Hides Downtown’s Hornets Nest
Rockford, IL – A 4,000 pound tree was removed from Roscoe, IL, and transported to downtown Rockford to prepare for the holiday festivals.
Thousands of street-corner-box and strip mall churchgoers will gather with misfit artists to celebrate and drink, walk the cold streets of Rockford, drink, say hello to the homeless people, smoke some weed, score some coke, say a community prayer, use a few people for charity and volunteer work, praise whoever, smile, ride the ponies, wave to the new 4,000 lb bruce tree in front of PNC Bank – one of America’s most successful lending operations for fixing to fail mortgage loans in the last decade – and be positive!
The Rockford downtown is home to The Hornets Nest, a collection of important people who do nothing but hang out and talk in coffee shops and bars pretending to do some work on their iPads and laptops or talking to people they know about progress and change and art and figuring out new ways to rape the creative class in broad daylight while drinking coffee, beer and snacking.
The continued efforts to transform Rockford, the city and its people, into a top 25 city by 2025 is ending 2014 and starting 2015 with a bang by dressing up the hornets nest (downtown Rockford and our city’s leaders, community prophets, white collar thieves and scumbags) with a tree.
Remember to share this story (and all of your precious thoughts, food photos, selfies) with the popular hashtag:
#top25by25
– Alonzo Bottums
Related Articles
Strange Bird Seen Flying High Over Rock River Times News Tower
Rockford, IL – Unbelievable. Better days are here again. – Chuch Toncha
All Local Starbucks to Close by Feb. 12th
ROCKFORD, IL – Kimberly Dumond’s 3-year career has come to this: Two weeks of severance pay. The 45-year-old, who works at
Mr. Lothario Makes Another Pizza For Mr. Strumwell
Rockford, IL – As reported last week, James Lothario took another day off to make a Rockford Pizza according to his
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: