Local Man Stabs Duck
Rockford IL– A Mallard duck was punched in the beak and stabbed in the back by a naked masked intruder, police said.
Witnesses told police just before 2:30 p.m. Friday, that a naked man– in what appeared to be Mexican wrestling mask– was attacking a duck near the river behind the Why M.C. Hayyy building. Witnesses said the intruder punched him in the beak and stabbed him in the back wing with a tiny blue knife while yelling, “Neil, why? Why?! Answer Me! D__n you, Neil!” before running from the scene and driving away in a red station wagon.
The duck was taken to an area animal hospital, where he was treated and released. The duck’s name is not Neil but witnesses believe the intruder had mistaken the Mallard for their friend, Neil.
Police said they do not have any suspects.
Related Articles
Patty the Goose, May She Rest In Peace
Rockford, IL — Patty the Goose was one of Rockford’s favorite birds. She ate carp, fresh out of the Rock
Justin Bieber NOT Performing, Big Black Bear Thrills at Rockford City Market
Sources have confirmed that international pop star, Justin Bieber, will not be performing at Rockford’s City Market this summer. There
School Lockdown Started By Vegan Student
A small 4th or 5th grade vegan student , thought to be armed with a rubberband and a stack of paperclips, led police on a brief foot chase Thursday afternoon and triggered a soft lockdown of a local grade school.
THESIS SOUL SOD : ( POUR LITTLE DOCKY