Rockford Area High School Athletes Top Country in Hirings and Arrests
Rockford, IL – Shocking new studies provided to us by the NANAHWA (National Alliance of Nepotistic Athleticism For a Healthier Working America) shows that Rockford, IL and the Winnebago County area’s finest high school athlete students are leading the country in major areas post-graduation. The report is based on a 40 year study.
- Boylan, Guilford, and Harlem have the most graduates who go on to be cops, drug dealers, ‘runners’ for each, buyers, lawyers, real estate agents and bankers.
- Auburn, East, Freeport and Jefferson lead the region’s high schools for arrests and imprisonment however they are also credited for keeping cops and drug dealers employed with cash flow.
- According to the report, “Scaredy-cat caucasian migration from Rockford to Rockton and Belvidere reached it’s boom 10 years after the study was initiated by the NANAHWA, therefor Hononegah and Belvidere H.S. are unaccredited for. We wish them luck next time.”
– Theodore Lepolli
Related Articles
Economic Conference Hosted by Poska’s Fishy Whales, Joe Marino Park in Rockford, NOON, July 4th!
Rockford, IL – You won’t read about the events you should be attending in the RRStar or RRTimes because they’re
Potato Ketchup Added to Rockford Area LINK Card Options
Rockford, IL — The Rockford-area community asked for ketchup and potatoes to be added to their LINK card benefits, and
Harry The Bunny
woke up in rockford at around 3:15am last night. my tummy hurt. tried to sleep it off but was thirsty.
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: