Rockford Area High School Athletes Top Country in Hirings and Arrests

23 Sep, 2013

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Rockford, IL –  Shocking new studies provided to us by the NANAHWA (National Alliance of Nepotistic Athleticism For a Healthier Working America) shows that Rockford, IL and the Winnebago County area’s finest high school athlete students are leading the country in major areas post-graduation. The report is based on a 40 year study.

• Boylan, Guilford, and Harlem have the most graduates who go on to be cops, drug dealers, ‘runners’ for each, buyers, lawyers, real estate agents and bankers.
• Auburn, East, Freeport and Jefferson lead the region’s high schools for arrests and imprisonment however they are also credited for keeping cops and drug dealers employed with cash flow.
• According to the report, “Scaredy-cat caucasian migration from Rockford to Rockton and Belvidere reached it’s boom 10 years after the study was initiated by the NANAHWA, therefor Hononegah and Belvidere H.S. are unaccredited for. We wish them luck next time.”

– Theodore Lepolli