The Stromwells File For Another Rockford Style Divorce
Tanya and Ted Stromwell
Rockford, IL – Tanya Stromwell, 48, has been telling her fourth husband, Ted, that he doesn’t listen to her. The Stromwells have been married for 4 years and Ted tells us, “It’s over as of today. Tanya went out drinking with her friend Ray last night and never came home. This is my first divorce.”
Our Relationship Department’s correspondent, Mark, spotted them at the Latham Tap. “They left holding each other’s arms. I’m pretty sure that’s it for Tanya and Ted.” We advised Mr. Stromwell of his wife’s whereabouts and he provided us a statement:
“That’s exactly how I met Tanya. She called me up one day crying about how Lance (her third husband) never listened to her. We went to Frank’s Sports Page and drank til we got married the next day. Some of those memories I’m going to miss but there’s this nice young lady at the shipping dock who calls me Sweet Teddy. I fenda see what that’s all about.”
After further investigation by Mark with our Relationships Dept. reporter, Lisa Soland, we came to a conclusion that the Stromwells will not learn more when we know less.™
– Jay Vannigan
Related Articles
Rockford Named Jizz City, USA
Rockford, IL – America’s contributions to world culture includes jazz, baseball (debatable), soda pop, Levis, the Simpsons, Baywatch, commercialized evangelism,
Report: City Leaders Launch Online Campaign To Increase Offline Sexy Time
Rockford, IL – Online positivity has been heavily trending throughout Rockford’s business and city government sectors since 2012 to increase
Watch a Rockford Priest Enjoying Snow For First Time
Rockford, IL – Fr. James McKenzie never thought he’d see real winter snow like this after spending much of his
