Vicious Chickens Attack Grandmothers

18 Oct, 2012

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Rockford, IL – Around 7:04 this morning, members of the Booney County Animal Control were called to the 2100 block of Canningham Road for a call about chickens wildly attacking several elderly women.  Police and fire were also dispatched to the scene.

Initial reports claim that at least four chickens and several potential roosters escaped their pen and violently attacked the grandmothers.

“We just wanted to bake a cake for our dear nephew Geoph,” said grandma Agnes Davenport.  “We needed more eggs, so Blanche [Grimmels] suggested that we use the fresh ones from her coop.  That’s when all the trouble started.”

When Blanche and Agnes found the coop empty, they returned to the house, only to find the rest of the grandmas inside being pecked and clawed by the angry fowl.

Blanche and Agnes, reminiscing about less violent times.

“How did they get inside?  Why are they so angry?  We don’t know, we just jumped in our Hoverounds and sped away as fast as we could,” said Grimmels.

The women were treated for minor lacerations around the ankle and calf areas.  All were treated and released.  The chickens were not found at the scene, and are presumed to be on the loose and highly dangerous.  If you see any wild birds, do not approach them; call the police and hide your elderly.