We are NOT Venusian lungsuckers!

02 Dec, 2014

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Dear Rockford

I am Nvrborgevtt from Nillgil FOUR

Again we have the mix-up last night. We were hovering over your fair city, still scanning for any humanoid women who undress with blinds unclosed. (Our study of human mammary gland tissues structures is in its 12th month and we expect break-throughs any day now.)

Borgillzx, who was on duty at our defense console was rudely awakened by the sudden appearance of one of your aircraft, marked Malaysia Airlines, which zapped in from the Langolier’s Galaxy. Standard protocol for all Trillfid Nine Battle cruisers is to strike with our Absolute Zero ray and ask questions later. I assure you no intake of gojop juice was involved, and Borgillzx was perfectly sober, despite being asleep.

It appears that there was no attack, our cloaking shield was intact, and Borgillzx had frozen a rather large amount of your upper atmosphere, resulting in a band of rather inclement ice and snow that covered this area and down into the area you call The “Dirty South”.

Also sorry about that incident in your downtown area last Saturday we have never encountered that many people in one area all at once and the overabundance of baby strollers caused us great panic. Again sorry, but anyone would have made the same mistake wearing his tentacle covers. I ask your forgiveness, please for the impediment to your surface travels this morning. It is really not my fault this time.

Again, as our protocol requires, we inform you via one of the greatest websites ever that we have been visiting your city for the past century or so, and it is we who run all the foreclosure scams. We also have an on-going research project on humanoid sexuality where we post as 33 year olds who like older men in your Casual encounter section. The pictures are from the woman in our human mammary gland study. We do appreciate those of you male humanoids who have helped us with our research and thank you for your donations mailed to our blind PO Box in Beloit.

Your Arthur Clarke said that magic was technology you just don’t understand yet. He was right about that.

Your friend,

Nvrborgevtt from Nillgil FOUR

PS Please remember we are not Venusian lungsuckers, despite our curious resemblence.