Elderly Man Loses Hat, Finds Salvation

08 Oct, 2012

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Dudley Newhouse, seen here with his hat, prior to finding salvation in a tin of potatoes.

Rockford, IL – Dudley Newhouse, 91, lost his hat over the weekend at a local Old County Buffet and spent all of Sunday morning looking for it. He returned to the restaurant for dinner tonight at 4:30 p.m. and was amazed that no one had found it yet.

“I’m certain I left it here. Or possibly in the water fountain at the mall near the food court while I was walking for 2 hours before they opened. I do that sometimes,” Dudley exclaimed as he stared at the floor.

No one had seen or heard from Dudley’s hat in over 24 hours and he was noticeably worried. Bewildered and confused Dudley decided to sit down and enjoy a nice healthy meal. While rummaging through the buffet line Dudley happened upon something very odd.

“I was just spooning potatoes onto my plate and there it was. I had found salvation! I had to pinch myself because I had no idea salvation was there the whole time I just had to find it. It took me 91 years but finally I found salvation and I must say, it is truly amazing! Hey, ask that broad what year it is,” Dudley said as he took his pants off near the hostess stand.

What Dudley actually found was a shiny marble that a child possibly dropped in the potatoes by accident. Old County Buffet has issued a statement to RKFD News saying that although they knew it was only a marble they simply couldn’t bring themselves to tell Dudley that it was not in fact, salvation.

“He just lost his hat,” said Cindy Wilson, 39, hostess and assistant to the assistant manager. “We figur’d we should let him think it was salvation ’cause it’s a rough time fer him. I remember when my third Daddy lost his hat. Those were tough times fer all 13 of us girls.”

If you have seen Dudley’s hat or know what year it is please contact [email protected]