Highway 251 in Machesney Park Chosen for 2018 U.S. Winter Olympics Trials
Illinois 251 Machesney Park, IL chosen for 2018 Winter Olympics Bobsled Trials
Machesney Park, IL – A stretch of Illinois Highway 251 in Machesney Park has been selected by the United States Olympic Committee for future Olympic training events. The USOC chose the stretch between Rockford Scanner’s electronic billboard and Highway 173 for its state-of-the-art mogul infrastructure.
“It’s just tremendous,” says Tim Lijendecker, the USOC subcommittee chairman for facilities. “In Colorado Springs, we would have to spend months and a few million dollars to get the moguls just right for our USA athletes. Highway 251’s got the jarring road bumps that are sure to get our skiers’ knees and ankles ready for the abuse they’ll take at future poorly planned Olympic venues like we’re seeing at Sochi right now.”
Darrel Chamsby, Rockford Area Convention & Visitors Bureau
The Rockford Area Convention & Visitors Bureau forecasts that having our future Olympians in Rockford will increase city and county revenues. “We’re really excited,” says Darrell Chasmby of the RAC&VB. “We’re hearing that the local Subway sandwich shops are considering expanding just to keep up with Michael Phelps’ sandwich demand. Dude eats like 10 sandwiches a day.”
You’ll learn more when we know less.™
– Chuck Toncha
Related Articles
Local Criminals Giving Thanks For Free XBox Machine
Rockford, IL – Local criminals have gathered by the dozens throughout the Northern IL state-line. They are giving thanks today
Battle for Middle Earth Climaxes to a Pause
Rockford, IL – The battle for Middle Earth reached a climax in Rockford last night. Everyone moaned to a pause
City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our pretty, positive, proud city.
lol, THAT ain’t rockford scanners billboard, the dude don’t have a pot to piss in that he can call his own
I would like to nominate Alpine Rd as an alternate route! 🙂