Highway 251 in Machesney Park Chosen for 2018 U.S. Winter Olympics Trials

Highway 251 in Machesney Park Chosen for 2018 U.S. Winter Olympics Trials
Illinois 251 Machesney Park, IL chosen for 2018 Winter Olympics Bobsled Trials

Illinois 251 Machesney Park, IL chosen for 2018 Winter Olympics Bobsled Trials

Machesney Park, IL – A stretch of Illinois Highway 251 in Machesney Park has been selected by the United States Olympic Committee for future Olympic training events. The USOC chose the stretch between Rockford Scanner’s electronic billboard and Highway 173 for its state-of-the-art mogul infrastructure.

“It’s just tremendous,” says Tim Lijendecker, the USOC subcommittee chairman for facilities. “In Colorado Springs, we would have to spend months and a few million dollars to get the moguls just right for our USA athletes. Highway 251’s got the jarring road bumps that are sure to get our skiers’ knees and ankles ready for the abuse they’ll take at future poorly planned Olympic venues like we’re seeing at Sochi right now.”

Darrel Chamsby, Rockford Area Convention & Visitors Bureau

Darrel Chamsby, Rockford Area Convention & Visitors Bureau

The Rockford Area Convention & Visitors Bureau forecasts that having our future Olympians in Rockford will increase city and county revenues. “We’re really excited,” says Darrell Chasmby of the RAC&VB. “We’re hearing that the local Subway sandwich shops are considering expanding just to keep up with Michael Phelps’ sandwich demand. Dude eats like 10 sandwiches a day.”

You’ll learn more when we know less.™

– Chuck Toncha



Related Articles

WEATHER ALERT – Ice Melts When The Sun Returns To Rockford

Rockford, IL – We have an important weather warning for the Rockford region from our friends over at the Northern

National Social Media Day Ruined By Locals Losing Their Minds on Facebook

Rockford, IL — A recent study published by Gorak’s department of health revealed that Rockford area locals are losing their

Father Yes Son

HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA ROCKFORD SCANNER hahahhahahhaha HAHAHAHHAHAHAA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

2 comments

Write a comment
  1. RSSUCKS 11 February, 2014, 22:46

    lol, THAT ain’t rockford scanners billboard, the dude don’t have a pot to piss in that he can call his own

    Reply this comment
  2. Christine Powell Johnson 11 February, 2014, 18:19

    I would like to nominate Alpine Rd as an alternate route! 🙂

    Reply this comment

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.