Local Pimp Enjoys Pizza, Gets Detained

13 Sep, 2012

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Pizza

At 11:17 PM tonight, Police were summoned to the Rockford city war zones known as 10th st and 17th ave. They received a nice tip on a wanted subject, a Pimp who goes by the street name of Joseph “Fat Joints” Scagtagli.

Neighbors nearby say that a white chubby male was in a large white Cadillac SUV near this location eating a pizza in the driver’s side seat with the car on, lights off. Larry Washington said, “Joey Fat Joints alway be sitting in his SUV watching his ladies work while he eat pizza. He don’t hurt no body. Know what I am saying?”

The police were able to confiscate and enjoy the remaining 4 slices of pizza along with what was first reported as a loaded bazooka in the back seat of Scagtagli’s SUV. The pizza had black olives, pepperoni, green peppers, and anchovies. The bazooka was empty but we are waiting to have that confirmed by nearby neighbors. There has been no mention of warrants for Fat Joints’ kidnapping by the RPD.  More news to follow when we know more news to share.

UPDATE:  Scagtagli is still in custody but is eating well according to Winnebago County’s head chef.  Three-cheese scrambled egg burritos were delivered to him this morning, courtesy of the few, fortunate, property tax payers whose homes haven’t foreclosed yet.  More information on this breaking story when we have more information to share.