Looking for Mr. Right

04 Nov, 2014

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I am an egotistical, unbalanced, self absorbed, shallow, and vapid Rockfordian woman. I am looking for a man with money (lots of money) who will take care of me (but we wont have sex) and allow me to live a good life.

You MUST Be:
Rich (above $2.7M)
Educated (sort of)
6′ 1″ or taller (but not taller than 6′ 5″. No beanpoles)
Abs, Abs, Abs
Nice tan (pale white or lobster skin is a complete turnoff)
Vegan,Gluten free
Like dogs, cats, birds, goldfish, iguanas , snakes
Able to handle my violent mood swings

In addition, you will provide me with a spending account and car service.

I like long walks along the beach, travel to exotic places like Beloit (that you will pay for), good books, shopping (that you will pay for), engaging conversation, and having my bills paid (by you).

If you cannot meet all of these requirements, perhaps I am not the woman for you (please click the back button). However, for the lucky man who does, I will be ever so grateful and available on Tuesdays and Sundays (mornings).

Please provide pics, credit history (including FICO score) and complete blood workup.

I am looking forward to meeting you. xxooooxxooo