Mission Accomplished: Symbol Relocated Back Downtown

15 Apr, 2014

Print this article Font size -16+

Rockford, IL –  The large, red (or orange), metal dildo on the bike pack, Symbol, has returned to its adopted home in downtown Rockford. The public sculpture was forced away from downtown three and a half decades ago after originally being abandoned by St. Paul / Minneapolis due to its phallic presence.  It was relocated to the bike path next to the Auburn Street bridge and Route 251 / N. 2nd St.  It’s been pointing north and out of Illinois since–that is, until our Mayor rescued Symbol while saving the Amerock building and bringing back the train to downtown Rockford last week.

Symbol was greeted with a hero’s parade today. “I want to thank the Rockford for returning to my second home. To my friend Johnny Emerald The IIIrd for writing that nice song about me.  All of this feels like closure is some way so I want to say I miss my maker, Alexander Lieberman.  He would be very confused by this honor,” said the erect thing.

What’s next for our patriot? “Only time will.  I might fall in love, raise a family, hang out with Johnny Emerald and his friends down here near the Davis Park resort, paint myself blue.”

Til then, read the bedtime story about Symbol and how it became Simbo, our city’s long-lost forgotten savior.

You will learn more when we know less.™

– Jay Vannigan