Mayor Gets New Doors

ROCKFORD, IL – With the wounds still fresh and the election just days behind us here in the Forest City of Hopes, Dreams, Sounds, Visions and Carp, Mayor Morrison decided to spend some of the city’s money on new doors for his office and the new Mining Claims office he has put conveniently next to his.
“It’s the same office, only different” said Morrison. The doors cost the taxpayers about $13,000 according to the paperwork we received. “We had the letters custom painted by an artist from Ohio and the paint was shipped to us from Canada. They have the best paint in the world,” said Morrison in a Skype conference call from a downtown coffee shop.
“The door handles are also made of pure gold and the columns were hand crafted in Michigan by the internationally famous, blind sculptor, Vincent Harglashio.” Said Morrison.
Mining claims are now available and are open to any citizen who qualifies as an adult and can swing a pick axe 12 times in a 30 minute period. While most areas in the city are subject to mining claims, some areas, such as national parks and monuments, are not available. To stake a claim to mine on city property, follow the appropriate steps, fill out the right papers and pay the necessary fees to the Mining Claims Office at City Hall. Tell them that my boss, Chief Tchad Beale, sent ya.
You’ll know more when we know less.™
– Jay Vannigan
Related Articles
Photo Gallery – RKFDnews Sponsors Transform RKFD Event
Rockford, IL – RKFDNews.com was proud to host this past weekend’s successful community event for “Transform RKFD.” All in all
Free Wagon Rides – City Market Party Returns to Downtown
ROCKFORD, IL – Rockford, IL’s fourth annual summer and early fall downtown party returns tomorrow for another ride–that is–free wagon
Sweat Equity and Charitable Labor Fueling Rockford’s Skyrocketing Economy
Sweat Equity and Charitable Labor Fueling Rockford’s Skyrocketing Economy Sweat Equity and Charitable Labor Fueling Rockford’s Skyrocketing Economy Sweat Equity
No comments
Write a commentWrite a Comment
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: