Mr. Lothario Makes a Rockford Pizza For Mr. Strumwell

06 Jan, 2014

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Rockford, IL – James Lothario took the day off to make a Rockford Pizza according to his neighbor, Joseph Dontel Strumwell.  Strumwell came home for lunch to find Mr. Lothario in his kitchen using his family’s wood-brick oven.  The two men laughed after Lothario explained that Jillian Strumwell had let the neighbor in to cook the Rockford pizza in exchange for feeding Mr. Strumwell for lunch as a surprise.

“I enjoy making the Rockford pizza.  When Jillian told me that they had a wood-brick oven, I offered to feed her family in exchange for using their wood-brick oven to cook the special Rockford pizza,” said James.  Besides pepperoni, green peppers, pineapple and sausage, Lothario “added a little something-something to the sauce if you knows what I means!”

We don’t know what he means, and neither did Mr. Strumwell when he discovered Mr. Lothario naked in his own kitchen making a Rockford pizza. Strumwell was caught off guard by his nude neighbor in his kitchen but told RKFDnews.com, “At first I was like, ‘you be f*cking my wife on Tuesdays at noon, too?’ But then I was like, damn, that Rockford pizza smell good bro.”

But was it a good Rockford pizza? We have the answer:

“Mr. Lothario make a nice Rockford pizza. It was very delicious, yes,” concluded Mr. Strumwell.

You will learn more when we know less.™

– Ron Kites