REA (Rockford Education Association) Plot Next Teachers Strike

REA (Rockford Education Association) Plot Next Teachers Strike
The captains, lieutenants and sergeants of the REA (Rockford Educators Association) gathered at The Olympic Tavern to plot the next Teachers strike.

The captains, lieutenants and sergeants of the REA (Rockford Educators Association) gathered at The Olympic Tavern to plot the next Teachers strike.

Rockford, IL – The city’s largest employer, RPS205 (Rockford Public School District 205), have been pretty quiet since their last strike in 2011.  The Chicago Teachers strike in 2012 caused many to act out in jealousy which we covered, click here. They’ve been very quiet until last week.

Whispers were made between lieutenants, seargants and captains of the R.E.A. (Rockford Educators Association) during Taco Tuesdays at The Olympic Tavern on North Main Street in Rockford, IL last week.

Most educators aside from administrators working for the School District are enjoying a comfy summer off with afternoons at the pool with their children, or garage sales with friends and neighbors and week night drinks with their teacher peers at Chilis, Red Lobster, or the very delicious Olive Garden.

Some teachers have to work summer jobs because they like to work and make more money towards a new career one day.  Some teachers plot their escape form Rockford because they can’t understand why more parents don’t teach their own children how to SIT, ROLL OVER, SHUT UP.  However, according to a very sexy FBI agent working with to provide us the freshest noose tips. the secret R.E.A. mob meetings are going down at one of our favorite spots, The Olympic Tavern.


The Olympic Tavern does not endorse this article but we endorse their business because the “No Bread Fred” is such an amazing meal to enjoy in a one-horse town.’s investigative reporter, Lisa Soland received the tip and was sent to the scene of the R.E.A.’s strike plot to get more information.  She zeroed in on the REA’s top mob bosses to see which ones had wedding bands on and which ones didn’t.  Ms. Soland waited with her sexy friend for two hours, counting the drinks they were enjoying and zeroed in after libation number four went down to make ‘new friends.’

What she heard is good noose for Rockford teachers and bad noose for Rockford tax payers. “The Chicago strike stole our thunder but we must use it as our template for the next teachers strike,” warned Boss Caputo.

First Lieutenant Dan Hanndssomeberg spoke up louder than the rest:  “My soldiers across the district want Taco Tuesdays off to enjoy Applebees discounts all day, not after the last bell has rung.  That is some crazy bull shit, guys.  It’s our rights.  No one has any idea how hard our job is to manage 24 little kids whose parents don’t give a shit about teaching them a damn thing at home like our parents did for us.

Everyone agreed with 1LT. Dan.  Everyone but Sgt. LaVonne Slaughter.

“If we’re going to strike before fall, let’s make sure there are kegs of beer and pitchers of margaritas ready for the team.  If we strike in late fall, early winter before the Lord is born again and we have weeks off to party, let’s make sure we have plenty of bottles of Baileys and Wild Turkey Whiskey on hand for coffee and hot chocolate. If we’re going to do this, let’s do it right this time so that Chicago looks at us and says, “Holy Cockshitassfuck! Rockford Teachers be striking like they in Chicago. Damns. We best be plotting our next strike like we dos.””

This is not the famous "No Bread Fred" that The Olympic Tavern serves, but it's just as good. Tell your waiter " said I get a special high five if I order the No Bread Fred."

This is not the famous “No Bread Fred” that The Olympic Tavern serves, but it’s just as good. Tell your waiter “ said I get a special high five if I order the No Bread Fred.”

Captain Eddie Caputo pulled out a cigar and offered his proud declaration, “All of Illinois is watching us now.  We are the touchstone for striking for more.  When will Rockford Teachers strike next?  Soon. Very, very soon.  Let us gather again tomorrow night.  Same table, bring notes.  Ask our soldiers what they want.  More vacation, iPads, pizza days, anything.  Tell them the time to strike is here again!”  Everyone shook Capt. Eddie’s hand.

Ms. Soland and her friend drove two of the drunk REA members to a bus station so they could get home in time to have a few more drinks at their Springfield, IL Applebee’s.  Captain Caputo stayed behind to enjoy a delicious “No Bread Fred” from The Olympic Tavern before their kitchen closed.

You will know more about the next Rockford area teachers strike when we know less.

– Ron Kites



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