Poork Town: Rockfordians Petition to Make KFC Original Recipe the State Bird

15 Oct, 2013

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Poork Town is a special series from RKFDnews.com that focuses on what makes our community’s egos, stomachs, necks, legs, arms, butts and heads so large, poor, and proud.

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Rockford, IL – While many congressmen in Illinois return to their constitutes to handle pressing topical matters in politics, it seems that no one is above the influence of the fast food marketing industry. “I don’t care if it has ‘Kentucky’ in the name,” stated petitioner Carl Belway, “It’s delicious. Are you going to tell me that Illinois isn’t delicious? It just makes sense.” Last week, Mr. Belway and 45 other proud fast food goers met up in Congressmen Todd Nunzulo’s office to state their case.

“At first I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” stated the congressmen. “But they brought in a couple buckets of the stuff and it was dynamite.” The petitioners have hit a roadblock however, as chicken isn’t necessarily considered a veritable bird by opinion of the masses. One opposed to the change in state bird is school teacher Anna Jergensen, who created her own petition which would limit the usage of the word “bird” to “animals who have wings, that can fly for distances greater than a mile.”

“What they’re talking about is semantics, we’re talking about herbs and spices,” Belway quipped. “If you can deep fry a Cardinal and make it taste this wonderful, then by all means let’s not only keep it as the state bird, but add it to the value menu.” Congressmen Nunzulo wouldn’t comment on any future decisions, but did admit that it would probably take a bipartisan committee to decide the outcome, and was prepared to follow up on legislation as long as he was able to take a couple of buckets with him down to Springfield.

– Gilbert Grebner