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City of Rockford Declares June 1st as National Fast Food Day
Rockford, IL – The city of Rockford, IL, voted 20-1 in favor of declaring June 1st of 2014 and every year afterwards a national holiday. All Americans, including immigrants without library cards, living and working a job in Winnebago County must take the day off from work.
It comes with one major catch: Each person in Winnebago County must eat fast food from a chain restaurant once between 12am and 11:59pm of June 1st–and save your receipt to turn into City Hall to avoid a major penalty. Note: Local fast food restaurants like Beef-A-Roo do not count.
Boz Johnston, Rockford’s financial advisor said, “Save your receipts to turn into City Hall (located in downtown Rockford, IL) before December 31st. If you fail to do so, you won’t enjoy National Fast Food Day for 5 years as a penalty.”
Cherry Vale Mall in sunny Rockford of Illinois has a wonderful food court to enjoy on National Fast Food Day, June 1st, 2014 (and every year afterwards).
The city holiday is one of the first major actions taken by the Align and Transform Rockford’s Emotions For The World To See How Positive and Awesome We Can Be If We Try To Try By Tweeting and Internetting Our Dreams, Visions and Stuff committee.
Charles Jayger, the committee’s Alignment of Federal Funds and Broken State Promises specialist says, “We believe that in order to grow the local economy we must act by supporting the backbone of our community–fast food restaurants.”
You’ll sure as f*ck learn the more when we know the less.™
– Ron Kites
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To Quote Rod Stewart, “Oh no, not again”, it’s New Year’s Eve.
I don’t mind getting together with the family and friends, for a little while. It’s nice to see a select few of the family you don’t run into all that often. I enjoy the home cooked meals, although I don’t go back for thirds. Food Coma? Nah, don’t want to be there any longer than I have to. Watching people sleep while supposedly watching some football is not the sport for me.
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