Breaking News
Bye bye 2021 happy 2022 rockford smells still New Year: Covid Update
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms
...0I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0
Rockford Named #5 Best City for Millennials in 2014
Rockford, IL – Thank you to Michael H. of Rockford, IL, for this positive noose story tip. Finally, a list to be proud of: Rockford, IL, has been named as the #5 Best City For Millennials in 2014.
With so much emotional negativity (despite all of the logical facts presented in each best and worst of case) that have been branded down upon Rockford and its community of poor weirdos and proud, corrupt scumbags by publications and government organizations that are responsible for handing out yearly best and worst list awards, it’s nice to be on a best of list sometimes. Right? Right, Rockford? Are you still celebrating misery? What?! Snap out of it, Rockford! #5, come on, that’s great!
Be a millennial, go to the mall or an Ice Hogs game, buy a positive tee shirt, but most importantly: You’re a #5 Millennial! Celebrate yourselves today. We know you will. You proud, fat, fast-food lovin’, Motley Crue listenin’, box church join’, Chilis eatin’ Rockford, Rockton, Roscoe, Machesney Park, Loves Park and Belvidere bastards.
2015 is looking good! Keep up the transformation,
Alonzo Bottums
Related Articles
Local man sets new Guinness World Record
ROCKFORD– A local man set a new world record for the most pets to a pony. Gordon Sparchyes petted a
Local Man Loves A Fresh Plate of Italian Nachos After Sunday Church
Rockford, IL – Jason Nelson, an age 42 divorced father of one, has made the best of his weekends in
Rockford’s Homeless Star Releases New Video & Song – My Dying City, By Johnny Emerald The IIIrd
Rockford, IL – Homeless singing star sensation, Johnny Emerald The IIIrd, released his first song and video of 2014 this
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: