A Letter From Our Editor, Tchad: RKFDNews Reveals Evil Debts Plan
Rockford, IL – Debt is evil and we here at RKFDNews.com have shared plenty of it with you since beginning this new adventure a year ago. There’s been a plan all along, you see. Goals rooted in making money; real, original monies to spread around evil necessities that possess such awful powers that can pay bills, buy food, and employ people to work.
How can we keep giving you the news at the pace we want to on a regular basis, and pay our staff to lose at least one of their many day, night, and weekend jobs?
Selling hand made goods is so HOT in the Rockford region, but that’s not all we want to do. We want to waste more of your time laughing or cringing at the truth. The real, original truths. We don’t want to cover the world, The Onion has that market. We want to cover you and your city, your stories – not ours – because this dark, deep well called Rockford is loaded with endless amounts of laughs, tears, OMGs and WTFs. It’s as if people woke up and started knitting their dreams out; and we chose to write ours out for you. Why you wonder? Businesses and local government are far too inept to create good jobs to replace the ones lost, so the all the artists and soccer moms have done it instead during the last 15 years.
Don’t misunderstand our intents. We don’t want to save anyone in this town with loaded promises, big fancy words, marketing schmaltz and civic pride wishes for a healthy community. We don’t have time for therapeutic, political, marketing tricks. We specialize in bringing entertainment to your city, your stories, not ours. We want to create and share laughs and tears that certify your inner voices’ inabilities to yell right back when you should speak up but don’t. Save your filters for church or school and other corrupt environments that most often pollutes and imprisons the muse. Hear us now, our goals are rooted in making money. Real, original, Rockford monies to spread around evil necessities that possess such awful powers to reward many locals with strange abilities to pay bills, buy food, and employ more people to work.
Would you support such a capitalist RKFDnews Store venture with your extra pennies? Or, do you expect us to continue doing what we’re doing for free while you get drunk and wait for the Rockford Jesuses™ to save you? (Because, well, that’s the real, original, Rockford way.) Comments and thoughts, below, please.
Regards and thank you for wasting more time with us on the world wide local web of useless information,
Tchad Beale
Editor and Chief of Tent
RKFDNEWS GOD
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