Posts From Chaz "Jet Lag" Stalmach
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Rockford Area Forest Preserves Not Just for Gay Sex Anymore
The Rockford internet community has done it! With your likes and shares of mugshot postings, you’ve successfully outed and ousted the worst of the worst criminals: Lonely, old, gay men. These parks will no longer be known as gay hook-up
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Duplex Cookies Tossed Out of Rockford for New Downtown Loft Cookies
Rockford, IL — “We Rockfordians have had enough. Our cookies have been cracking and crumbling for too long.” Said Ruth Marche, a well known, well-to-do, community leader and Rockford Transformationalist. Marche has lived in Rockford since before our city’s Nickel
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Community in Turmoil as Fake Facebook Profiles Destroy Rockford’s Social Media
“We all know who you are. You’re not funny and your negativity is only bringing this community down,” says Dick, head of the Forest City Internet Authentification (FCIA) task-force. “Some of the locals behind these profiles have been vouched for. I’ve
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Rockford’s Bagel Crisis Intensifies Protests turn Violent
“Panera? PANERA BREAD! NO! God Damn it, NO!!! I want a real fuckin’ Bagel!” Mayor Barry proclaims as he joins a group of protesters, flipping over a car, outside City Hall. It was Courtney’s birthday. She didn’t want to bring
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Turkey Vulture Mutilates 4-Year-Old Girl
Rockford, IL – RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) were called at 4:35 PM yesterday after neighbors heard Cathleen Buchareli, the mother of two, screaming for help. The situation is unheard-of and tragic, as turkey assaults are not as common as human
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Indiana Native Shares 2000 Election Memory With His Rockford Friends on Facebook
Rockford, IL – I remember having strong political opinions during the bush / gore election. I lived in very rural Indiana at the time and the majority of people I knew were Bush supporters. Long story short, Bush won. You
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