Posts From Jay Vannigan
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Machesney Park Mayor Fights for His Right to Party. 0
MACHESNEY PARK –Village president Tobias Lickstrand wants to party. “The people out there think the Mayor is the top dancer and he should be and he’s not as it stands right now,” said Lickstrand Machesney Park Village President Tobias Lickstrand says he
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Man Wearing Snorkel Attacks Clerk
ROCKFORD, IL – A man described by witnesses as wearing “a smoking jacket, snorkel, and some sort of large gold belt buckle” attacked a clerk at the Git Sum Market at the corner of South Main early this morning. He did
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Michael Kleen Gets Dirty
Michael Kleen the Republican candidate hoping for the position of Mayor in Rockford for the upcoming 2013 primarys has started the mud flinging early. Kleen has bought the domain www.larrymorrissey.com to use as his own. A dirty and typical unclean campaign
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Bangkok Because It’s Funny
Rockford, IL – “Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok is funny joke, ha ha, you know joke? I tale you”, said Chensworth Johnstonson. We here at RKFD News had nothing better to do on a Tuesday,
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Another Stabbing Occurs While Another Egg Sandwich Is Prepared
ROCKFORD, OF ILLINOIS, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, OF NORTH AMERICA, OF EARTH, OF EVERYTHING ELSE THAT’S LAUGHING AT US – A man has stabbed at least 5 family members but got great deals on stuff and things at
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What Happens When the Polar Bear & Donkey Walk Into a Rockford Lonestar To Tear Some Sh*t Up?
Rockford, IL – A polar bear and a donkey walked into a steak bar on the east side of Rockford. A night of intended pleasure turned into a Rockford massacre at the popular Lonestar Steak Tavern. Witnesses at LoneStar say
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