City Hires 150 Invisible Road Construction Workers

12 Oct, 2012

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ROCKFORD , IL – In an attempt to combat the increasing number of road construction sites, the city of Rockford has appointed 150 invisible laborers to work around the clock. “They may not cast a shadow, but they sure as hell put in a ton of hours,” stated Rockford Transportation Chief, Sal Burger.  He added:

“I get calls asking when the cloverleaf is gonna’ be finished, or why aren’t construction workers on this site or that site, but they’re there, we assure you, they’re just  invisible.”

The invisible laborers, hired last month, have been putting in hours when the regular visible workers are off the job, or at nighttime. “Whenever you don’t see a visible worker on site, be confident that there are at least five or more invisible workers manning the job,”  Burger continued.

The unseen relief workers aren’t without their own problems. There have been numerous incidents of flag operators being mowed down by Rockfordian drivers who fail to heed their indistinguishable instructions. The Invisible Workers of America claim that each year, more than 15,000 invisible workers are injured in such manners, but when this reporter attempted to seek clarification in the chapter’s Skokie office, I found the building abandoned.

You will learn more when we know less.™

– Gilbert Grebner