Cheerleader Rallies #3 Most Miserably Funny City

22 Feb, 2013

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Rockford, IL – Rockford cheerleader Pawla Careola led her team to the World University Cheerleading Championship in Arizona recently. She brought home two sexy trophies with her after reading something miserably funny about Rockford of Illinois that hurt her hometown’s feelings in Forbes magazine.

With Arizona’s success in tow, she is setting up her own squad in the Downtown Rockford area hoping to bring home more sexy trophies to fix local poverty and economic problems. Ms. Careola will cheer on the city and enlighten its people with positive chants of promise and hope.

“I hope poverty takes it’s naughty head and turns around. Please go back to Chicago and St. Louis where you belongs! Go aways!  The poor people in the region need a Cheerleading Squad to get them motivated “, said Careola, “and I intend to give them one that they can be proud of. Very pride but not like 7 deadly sins proud, ok? We are setting up a Kickassstarter to get some funds for uniforms and stuff.  I’ll get back you with the link!“

Careola mentioned that her squad will be selling t shirts for about 40 dollars to “cover expenses like going to downtown Chicago for research at the Apple store.  The funds will cover dessert at the Cheesecake Factory, too.”

With the recent news of Rockford, IL being the #3 most miserably funny place to live in America according to Forbes Magazine, Careola believes that the success she had in Arizona will inspire the poor people in Rockford of Illinois.

“Think hard!  look at my sexy trophies I won in Arizona.  I think if we just show them that the city is full of hope and dreams we can overlook the unofficial 30.2% unemployment and extremely high property taxes.  We can overlook anything if we believe we can fly”, sang Careola.

“I believe I can fly! Rockford, will you fly with me?” Oh, dear Lord, I can’t stop laughing while typing this.  Do you, Rockford? DO you believe you can fly beak first into a sexy trophy from Arizona? Ahahahhahaha.

“Lets welcome Pawla and her team to the Rockford area with open arms!”, said Mayor Barry Morrisson in a press conference from the local coffee house place where everyone talks about work and doing some work but no one wants to pay for it.

– Jay Vannigan

Sing along to THE ROCKFORD, ILLINOIS CITY ANTHEM