Gorman, Mayor Barry, China, and Hotel Infiltrates Magic 8 Ball Again

17 Feb, 2016

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Rockford, IL – Gorman & Company, based out of Wisconsin, has hired Mayor Barry Morrison according to our limited edition Spencer’s Gifts’ Magic 8 Ball. Gorman is behind major poverty-profitable projects in the Rockford region including the hotel stuff, Chinese investments, and the Rockford Housing Authority projects fiasco.

This is great news for the city and community of Rockford:

• Gorman is a good company with wealthy foreign investors, and if they want to help poor American people– so be it. Give them the land.

  (Our Native American Indians DO NOT care at all anymore. No worries. The past is the past and our Natives have 0 interests in revitalizing asbestos laced, soil infected properties where factories were built alongside the river in the 19th century. There is NO scientific proof that the Rock River is brown and contaminated because of my Cousin Jed’s waste management practices in 1958. Zip. Nada.)

• Mayor Barry has defied the past by reaching out of Illinois for help– a very, very smart and calculated move. No matter what his objectors believe, Gorman and Mayor Barry partnering up is a good move for China and Rockford to make America great again.

TRUMP / CLIFTON 2016

All of this noose-breaking magic 8 ball stuff sort of leads the community of Rockford’s questions towards answers regarding why our Mayor has taken many, many trips to China in the last two years to secure funds for a hotel that is sure to run itself into the ground with poor management if the asbestos from the land it sits on doesn’t do it first.  The answer is simple:  We are not going to repeat the follies of our forefathers by insulating ourselves from outside investors who want to finance the work we can’t afford to do ourselves.

We are unable, unskilled, one-legged, missing a few strains of DNA, our backs are bent, tummies tired, weak and hungry– and we’re too poor.  We have no more coupons left to use at Aldi’s, and the state of Illinois is running out of food stamps.

Help us, China!  Help us, Mexico! Help us, India! WE MUST HIRE OUTSIDE INVESTORS AND FOREIGNERS TO RUN THE HOTEL, TO HIRE ILLEGAL CITIZENS, TO WORK THE SNACK MACHINES AND THE ICE BUCKETS.

It’s imperative that we support Magic 8 Ball’s prediction no matter the outcome. (Settle down, hornets nest.  Sip that coffee, order a toasted bagel from Crystal.) There is a possibility that the Magic 8 Ball is wrong. However, reoccurring buzzing noises that are coming straight from the hornets nest downtown to the Magic 8 Ball’s mind are rarely ever wrong. Fingers crossed, sip slow, let the bowels move themselves.

Learn more to know less.

– Ron Kites