James the Wet Pussy Cat Mauls Alejandro the Latin Kings Servant
James The Wet Pussy Cat
Rockford, IL – News broke over the scanner last night that screeching and screaming was heard in the northwest neighborhood near Huffman and Riverside where gang warfare along with the community’s fears are rising. Sources have confirmed that an angry wet pussy cat murdered a Latin Kings servant.
The RKFD Dream Police landline phone operator confirmed it this morning. “The dream force is grateful for any man, woman, child or animal that helps us fight the war on drugs in Rockford while we await our budget plan to be approved for hiring more officers to assist with rebuilding community safety.”
James, the wet pussy cat, told us, “Wuzz lickin’ myself before going nigh night and Alejandro be trippin’ wit his frands. I toad dem to shut up and day dih-int. Dat mother f*cker wuzz in my way to my pillow so I maul that b*tch. James da pussy cat need some sleep y’all.”
You will learn more when we know less.™
– Chief Beale
Related Articles
City Reacts to Forbes by Learning How To Read and Write, Promises Championship in 2014
Rockford, IL – Rockford, Illinois area citizens and local leaders are still reeling from this week’s 3rd place defeat to
Purple Lion Attacks Children
Rockford, IL – With a fresh pot of coffee in her hand, Krystal Evoloafredrick explained why she likes her cafe
Prostitutes and Baby Throwing
ROCKFORD, IL – Six older women were arrested Thursday night and Friday morning in a prostitution sweep within areas of
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: