James the Wet Pussy Cat Mauls Alejandro the Latin Kings Servant
James The Wet Pussy Cat
Rockford, IL – News broke over the scanner last night that screeching and screaming was heard in the northwest neighborhood near Huffman and Riverside where gang warfare along with the community’s fears are rising. Sources have confirmed that an angry wet pussy cat murdered a Latin Kings servant.
The RKFD Dream Police landline phone operator confirmed it this morning. “The dream force is grateful for any man, woman, child or animal that helps us fight the war on drugs in Rockford while we await our budget plan to be approved for hiring more officers to assist with rebuilding community safety.”
James, the wet pussy cat, told us, “Wuzz lickin’ myself before going nigh night and Alejandro be trippin’ wit his frands. I toad dem to shut up and day dih-int. Dat mother f*cker wuzz in my way to my pillow so I maul that b*tch. James da pussy cat need some sleep y’all.”
You will learn more when we know less.™
– Chief Beale
Related Articles
Symbol to get face lift. Why?
ROCKFORD, IL – Rockford’s big, red, ugly–we still can’t figure out what it is–sculpture will get a fresh coat of
Downtown Vigil Rallies City Against Forbes Meanies
Rockford, IL – Local artists and politicians rallied last night in downtown Rockford to pray for everyone working for Forbes
Rockford Register Star’s Mommy & Daddy Company Files For Bankruptcy
Rockford, IL – We here at RKFDnews.com have been waiting a few weeks for this noose to break. We want
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: