Man Woman or Beast Robs Gas Station
ROCKFORD-(RKFDP) are seeking help to locate a man or woman or beast who robbed a Rockford gas station of its dignity and leftover holiday cheer 
early Saturday morning.
Around 2:45 a.m. Saturday, a man or woman or beast entered Roy Ranger’s Gas Station, 58370 Eastern. State St., to purchase a comb a razor and some duct tape, a release stated. When the cashier opened the register, the suspect reached inside and took an undisclosed amount of dignity and some leftover holiday cheer from last year.
The unidentified being was last seen fleeing in a Eastern like direction on West State Street in a white or red or black 1976- 2000 Suburban-like vehicle with an unknown license plate.
The suspect is described as being a 35-year-old black man or woman or hairy beast, about 5 or 8-feet tall, 175 -400 pounds and wearing a dark or light jacket, white or black T-shirt, blue or red jeans and white or brown tennis shoes or hair like pants.
Anyone with information is asked to write in to RKFD News or call Crime Stoppers at 815-963-7867.
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This town is f’d in the d. When a Satyr needs to rob a store to feed his needs, it’s over. I need to move to El Salvador
CRAYSEE THYMES!