RKFDP Officers Shoot & Kill Porcupine
Rockford, IL – Fourteen RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) officers shot and killed a Porcupine holding a woman at porcupine-point Friday morning. The shooting happened about 7:45 a.m. at a motel near the Moel Beal Gas Station on the 3800 block of River Street, near the intersection of Giraffe Parkway and Flamingo Road.
Fourteen RKFDP officers fired at the Porcupine with their machine guns.
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The Porcupine has not been identified yet. He died at Sunrize Animal Hospital and Medical Center.
Officer Neilsan of the RKFDP said, “That gosh dang animal was refusing to vacate his room. Management attempted to evict him and he took a woman hostage outside the complex. We were there in seconds. The giant porcupine was holding two knives at the victim’s throat when we showed up,” he concluded.
Several witnesses said they heard at least 50 gunshots but didn’t see the shooting, or the knives that Officers on the scene claimed to have seen.
RKFDP Deputy, Chief Kasper O’ Connorski (who oversees the Investigative Services Division Of Porcupines In The Forest City), said the officers were at a nearby community-policing and donut making charity event when they were told about a porcupine refusing to leave the complex.
“The porcupine had threatened management–that it would take hostages and peck out eyes with it’s sharp quills if we tried to evict him,” said the hotel’s manager, Ginny Clutter. A short chase on Cambridge Street had commenced before “the Porcupine grabbed an elderly woman and put what looked like knives to her neck, but they had to have been quills,” said Clutter, adding, ” I mean, it’s a porcupine, why would it need knives?”
At this point, RKFDP officers felt they needed to open fire on the Porcupine to protect the woman. “Her life was in danger for sure. Have you ever had a Porcupine hold you hostage with it’s quills? Those officers are so lucky to have guns to use on these violent Porcupines,” Clutter said.
The elderly woman–who asked to not have her name printed–was visibly shaken as she sat on the sidewalk about an hour after the shooting. She did not know the porcupine. RKFDP’s PR Lady, Sheila Shantina, told RKFDNews.com that, “the woman was upset but unharmed except for a couple of quill wounds she suffered on her back when the porcupine was shot. Standard quill marks for sure.”
The fourteen RKFDP officers who fired their weapons were placed on routine administrative leave pending an investigation into the shooting. Their names will be released 48 hours after the incident, per the Dream Police’s department policy.
The Weinerbagel County coroner’s office will release the dead porcupine’s name to the Forest City after it’s family has been found, tranquilized, and then notified.
Criminal acts are outnumbering job hirings on a daily basis in Winnebago County. Please email our RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) Department immediately if you hear of a crime being commited in your neck of the forest city: tips@rkfdnews.com
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