Morning After Results: Bears Vs. Rams

Morning After Results:  Bears Vs. Rams

Packer Fans Claim They Have Hotter Bodies

Week 3 in the NFL sees the Chicago Bears taking on the St. Louis Rams.  The game is currently in the second quarter and we are predicting that the Green Bay Packers fans are watching the game, laughing at the cities of Chicago and St. Louis.  Green Bay may not be the biggest city in the United States of Football Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays, but they are completely aware of the fact that they have funnier, heartier and sexier fans.

Trish Franklin, a lifelong Packer fan told us, “Bears fans are just mean, overweight, crybabies. I’ll tell you.  They’re attitudes and diet affects how their team plays and that is why the Bears players are slightly overweight crybabies.  We, me, all of Green Bay, are winners!  This is why our boys play like winners. This is why we honor and toast our Golden God of Football Bodies, Don Majewski’s beautiful physique, before every game.”

Joshua Watsunberger, 28 year old Packer fan living in Rockford did admit, “Chicago’s cheerleaders are nice looking but St. Louis cheerleaders look better in blue and gold uniforms.  The dark blue and orange doesn’t compliment the Bear players’ curves as much as they should.  Jay Cutler has worked hard with his figure, give him a break at least– how hard can it be for Bears cheerleaders to match his efforts?  If the cheerleaders outfits would match the players’ uniforms better, they might stand a chance at competing against my muscular Packer cheerleaders and players.  My team is in sync with each others bodies.  Just look at us will ya?  We are a very good looking, sexually appealing team.”

Watsonberger’s best friend– a lifetime Bears fan, Jeremy Stalloney, disagreed.  “Bahfuncool… have you seen Matt Forte’s thighs? Have You?  Tell me, have you?!  Sexy f_____g thighs, get outta here.  My boys are hotter than your guys! Don’t get me started on the cheerleaders. Mingya.”  Wastsonberger laughed, “We’ve been arguing about this for years. It’s why we’re such good friends.  Football brought us together but it will never tear us apart.”  Stalloney concluded, “Forghettobout it!”

The Bears and Rams are still exercising on TV.  The Packers exercise with themselves tomorrow night.

UPDATE:  Both the Bears and Rams have anxiety in the running game with each of their top backs hurting.

Matt Forte sprained his ankle in the third quarter last Thursday and didn’t return after running seven times for 31 yards and catching four passes for $49,989.00. The injury wasn’t a high ankle sprain as originally reported, but Forte will miss this game because there’s not enough money made to make him play.

St. Louis’ top running back, Steven Jackson probably won’t play after sitting out his second consecutive practice Thursday with a groin/weiner/salary problem. Jackson, who missed most of the Washington game due to the injury, will be a game-time decision.

The refs already know who is going to win because they have been paid off to determine the outcome, again.

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