Restaurant Gives Huge Incentives

06 Oct, 2012

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ROCKFORD, IL – A local restaurant is giving it’s largest customers incentives to come in and get bigger.

“Chick-A-Doo is not concerned with our city’s obesity problem. They are giving away free meals for customers over 350 lbs.,” says a thin spokeswoman for the chain restaurant. She adds, “We love our large customers. They drink a lot of Diet Pepsi, and always get dessert.”

Restaurant manager, Neil Chadwick Henderson, offers positive, warm thoughts about the enormous incentives it brings to our community-at-large (Get it? No pun intended.):

“We are trying to make Rockford No.1 in the nation for obesity.  It will bring lots of tourists, and downtown hotels will be packed if we build them. This will force the the city’s wealthiest four people to build hotels and another parking garage.  There’s no more room at the Winnebago County Jail Hotel and this is a problem that we, Chick-A-Doo, will fix with our huge incentives.”