RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People
Back to homepage
Rockford Area Forest Preserves Not Just for Gay Sex Anymore
The Rockford internet community has done it! With your likes and shares of mugshot postings, you’ve successfully outed and ousted the worst of the worst criminals: Lonely, old, gay men. These parks will no longer be known as gay hook-up
Read More
Magic Pussy Lion Terrorizes Rockford Woman Again
ROCKFORD, IL – Weeniebagel County Coroner, Rue Squiducha, said “an autopsy today is expected to determine whether a 75-year-old woman found dead Monday afternoon was a cat or possibly a cat-human. My friend Sgt. Ron says it might me the magical
Read More
Rockford’s Next Mayor Contest Begins
Rockford, IL — The city of Rockford’s 2017 April mayoral election seems like it’s still months away, but the time is now to get in on the fun. RKFDnews.com would like to ask you, the people, who the next mayor
Read More
Report: Google Fibre Coming To Rockford
Rockford, IL — Recent reports confirm that Google Fibre will soon be brought to the Rockford area. “Rockford’s one of the more constipated metropolitan areas in the Upper Midwest,” said a Silicon Valley executive with knowledge of the project. “With their proximity
Read More
Duplex Cookies Tossed Out of Rockford for New Downtown Loft Cookies
Rockford, IL — “We Rockfordians have had enough. Our cookies have been cracking and crumbling for too long.” Said Ruth Marche, a well known, well-to-do, community leader and Rockford Transformationalist. Marche has lived in Rockford since before our city’s Nickel
Read More
Chick-Fil-A Rockford Location Receives 2016 Google Reviews Award
Rockford, IL — Rockford’s Chick-fil-A location has received the prestigious 2016 Google Reviews Award. Congratulations to everyone in Rockford that loves fried chicken, and to the Chick-fil-A Rockford staff for making it one of the most pleasurable, non-violent meals in
Read More