Breaking News
Bye bye 2021 happy 2022 rockford smells still New Year: Covid Update
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms
...0I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0
Career Tips on Becoming A Rockford Area News Reporter, Anchor, Actor, Senator
Rockford, IL – Our unpaid and over-educated staff has put together a list of tips to help fellow journalists transform their careers into something comparable to a Rockford area news personality; which can earn you a quicker ticket out of town to Oklahoma, Dubuque, Springfield, Beloit, Chicago and Hollywood.
1. Become an aspiring model or athlete.
2. Stop reading novels, start flipping through People, US, Rockford Register Star, Rock River Times and Teen magazine on a daily basis for news tips.
3. Purchase an annual tanning subscription.
4. Hang out downtown at Carlyle or on the west side at Olympic after your shift ends with your station’s coworkers and sign autographs.
5. Show an interest in high school sports.
6. Cover city events to promote positivity and transformation or whatever.
7. Never do fact checks.
8. If you’re a woman, get a boob job.
9. WOMEN: Put in 2 years, at least, use your news reporting skills to build an acting career!
10. MEN: Put in 16 years, at least, to start your campaign to be a state senator!
11. Come back to Rockford often to say, “Hi, Rockford!”
If all else fails, be a local celebrity!
– Chet Fairway
Related Articles
Beyonce Camp Has 0 Interest With Performing In Rockford
Rockford, IL – Beyoncé’s team has reported zero interests with performing in Rockford at the annual Davis Park Festival during
Transform Rockford: Ideas For License Plate Protection – Dream Police Warns Public to Protect License Plates
Rockford, IL – RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) released a public service announcement this past week warning residents to protect their license
House Fire on the Far East Side
Rockford, IL – A house fire on the Far East Side claimed the life of a dog, three birds and a
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: