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Loose Lips, Tight Pants, Keeps Rockford Man Looking For Love in 2015
Rockford, IL – Brad Hinnasborgcorona-Morrissey, single 28 year old Rockford man, is happy as he approaches 2015.
“I’ve got loose lips, tight pants, a killer mustache thing and a Polish-Swedish-Irish-Italian heart to love y’all Rockford ladies needing a baby’s daddy in 2015,” said Hinnasborgcorona-Morrissey to rkfdnews this morning.
We asked Brad what his plans for 2015 were besides loving up some Rockford ladies, and this is what he said:
“I want to hire a few local artists, have them create my American Dream business, not pay them, force them to hate me, but I have no worries–people in Rockford are so stupid and proud that they don’t care about who actually does the work vs. who takes credit for it– and then, with the momentum of our City’s leaders, I want to fool the public and the local media into giving me and my new business all of the press to help build my American Dream into Rockford success so that I can raise my family with a lovely, fertile Rockford lady! I love Rockford! Go 2015! I want to be your baby’s daddy!”
Ok, Brad! Well then. We will f*ck ourselves off as soon as we learn more to know less about f*cking Brad!
– Ronnie Kites
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