Breaking News
Bye bye 2021 happy 2022 rockford smells still New Year: Covid Update
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms
...0I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0
Rockford on the Upswing: Looking Forward to 2015
Hi, my name is Rockford. I live in Illinois, it’s fun. People pick on me all the time, but I’m on the upswing. Good things are coming in 2015 and here’s a list of them:
1. Porridge
2. Trains*
3. Grocery Stores
4. Road Cement
5. Portillo’s*
6. iPad 6 and iPhone 7 or 7c*
7. Air Jordans
8. Federal Funds for City People and their elitist friends (such as public charity directors, ad firm owners, real estate developers, etc.) to misuse at our poor expense again.
9. Ludacris Concert
10. Barry Manilow Concert
11. Winter Road Salt*
There are more, we’ll add them randomly at odd times that we won’t tell you about.*
*Maybe, hahaha.
– Ron Kites
Related Articles
29 Arrests Made in Massive Rockford Vision Ring Bust
Rockford, IL – 29 people have been charged with conducting “Vision” stuff. Real, original, excellent law enforcement agents helped conduct the
Battle for Middle Earth Climaxes to a Pause
Rockford, IL – The battle for Middle Earth reached a climax in Rockford last night. Everyone moaned to a pause
Top 10 Myths About Rockford
Rockford, IL – Myths and misconceptions about Rockford are commonplace in Beloit or Durand. On a recent episode of the
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: