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Applebees Reports That Teachers Who Do Art Together Get Drunk Together in The Rockford

Applebees Reports That Teachers Who Do Art Together Get Drunk Together in The Rockford

Rockford, IL –  A new study conducted by the Applebees chain headquarters with administrative officials from The Rockford School District have concluded that it’s extremely likely that “87% of The Rockford teachers who do art together after-hours eventually get drunk together and then act like immature dipshits together.

The Rockford Art TeachersRon Johnsen, Appelebees’ Teachers Drink For Free On TuesdayDirector tells us, “These results are no different than that of studying most community leaders anywhere in America. Educators enjoying libations after doing the art in The Rockford isn’t a new trend, it’s what follows that trend that worries our sponsors. We’re concerned to say the least.”

“What my After-School Assembly found to be most shocking about the report were the amount of affairs, rumors, domestic altercations and broken friendships that are created AFTER doing and creating the art before the libations,” offered Don Johnsan (not related to Ron), Union Director of The Rockford Art Teachers After School Assembly.

The Rockford teachers that do the art and enjoy libations were unavailable for comments due to summer vacation and extended weekend benders.  It is Tuesday, however–find an Applebees today after doing art to enjoy libations with The Rockford teachers.Rockford Art Teacher

You will know art when you learn how to be righteous and condescending like The Rockford art teachers are after a few libations at Applebees or a summer city festival.

– Theodore Lepolli

Applebees
20out of 5
The Rockford Teachers
10out of 5
Art
4out of 5
Alcohol
20out of 5
Rumors
20out of 5
Don Johnsan
6out of 5
Ron Johnsen
4out of 5
Visitors Vote
0out of 5

3

3 out of 5
Average

Tags assigned to this article:
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