RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People
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29 Arrests Made in Massive Rockford Vision Ring Bust
Rockford, IL – 29 people have been charged with conducting “Vision” stuff. Real, original, excellent law enforcement agents helped conduct the largest Vision bust in the city’s history. A lifetime supply of Chick-Fil-A sandwiches was confiscated and will be handed out at the
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Harry The Bunny
woke up in rockford at around 3:15am last night. my tummy hurt. tried to sleep it off but was thirsty. walked around the house with a nice warm glass of water. not feeling so parched at that point so I
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Happy Ending for Kryptonite Bar Owner Chris Wachowafcheski
Rest easy friends. I know how worried you were when you heard Kryptonite was closing. You’ve probably heard the rumors that Rockford Art Deli was planning to buy the bar and turn it into an all age venue. We’re relieved
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Area Lives Improved by Local Organic Geo-Neutral Free Range Heroin
A great new option for the many health conscious heroin addicts in the Rockford area has just hit the streets. Users can now buy unfilter, GMO free, gender neutral Heroin grown from Rockton’s sustainable poppy plant population and hand crafted
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16 Things You Never Knew About the Rock River
Sure, you know about dead bodies and the Waterfront Festival. You’re a smart Rockordian with some college experience and a firm grip of Wikipedia. You drink fancy beers at that stimulus package brew house and eat pizza at the City
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Local Musician is Patient Zero of a New Less Appealing Form of Ebola
Coughing? Sneezing? You probably have Luttrell Ebola. Local scientists have traced the virus back to a singer/song-writer by the name of Derek Luttrell. LE (Luttrell Ebola) hasn’t yet claimed any lives, but it has cost out local economy hundreds of
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