RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People
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Weird Couple Scare Children at Local Pool
ROCKFORD, IL – As I drive through the hip art community, here along the River District in sunny Rockford, I often catch a glimpse of that famous bumper sticker proclaiming “Art Saves Lives”! Can it really? I ponder. Why yes
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Catfish Kills Children
Rockford, IL – John Rigsby left family members clinging to a capsized pontoon in a brown sea of stinging catfish, swimming at least 200 feet and climbing rocks at the shoreline in pitch blackness to reach help at the first
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Romance On The Rise In Rockford, Neighbors Speak Out
Romance is drastically on the rise in Rockford, IL, since July 4th. These acts of romance have been reported: The birthing of a 0-year-old boy in the back of whale’s butt on Tuesday as he stood outside the whale’s butt
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New City Poll Reveals Rockfordians Are, In Fact, Insane
Poll HAHAHA What games did you most like to play outside in the summer of 69 with Bryan Adams? Kick the cat. Hoprob. Jump your neighbor. Porchdrunk Methyland Windows and Ladders. Punch a Rockford Paparozzi Prophet Definition of POLLtarde HAHAHA 1
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Lion attacks children at local Zoo.
ROCKFORD — Beloit’s military toppled the city’s first independently elected president Wednesday night and reportedly put him under house arrest while rounding up some of his top supporters like Supply Corn and the Bee Moe Better Bank even as the deposed
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Naked Man tests positive for Rabies
ROCKFORD — Health officials say a naked man that attacked an off duty schoolteacher near a Nippissinnick park has tested positive for rabies. The Weeniebagel Health Department said Thursday that a resident reported an aggressive naked man near Nippissinnick Park on
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