Local Heroes
Back to homepage
Local Celebrity and Founder of Rockford Scanner Releases Personal Website
Rockford, IL – Over 40,000 people in the Rockford area have gravitated towards RockfordScanner.com for misspelled and inaccurate details on the hour. It’s something the Onion came up with years ago but real. Real, original Rockford real. That kind. Founder and
Read More
Catfish Kills Children
Rockford, IL – John Rigsby left family members clinging to a capsized pontoon in a brown sea of stinging catfish, swimming at least 200 feet and climbing rocks at the shoreline in pitch blackness to reach help at the first
Read More
Romance On The Rise In Rockford, Neighbors Speak Out
Romance is drastically on the rise in Rockford, IL, since July 4th. These acts of romance have been reported: The birthing of a 0-year-old boy in the back of whale’s butt on Tuesday as he stood outside the whale’s butt
Read More
Big Spoonful Go Bye Bye Into Baby’s Mouth and Rockford Park District Needs More Volunteers For Jobs Not Workers
Rockford, IL – What a big spoonful that little baby took into it’s little mouth by it’s mommy at Egg Harbor Restaurant in Rockford this morning! Linda Cherrystone, a 22 year old single mom, gathered with her Thursday morning friends
Read More
Black Panther Writes Letters To Rockford and Beloit
June 13th, 2013 Dear Rockford, You are the biggest dick in the world. How could you treat a panther so cruelly? You have no idea what you did. You tore me apart piece by piece. I was trying
Read More
Happy Fathers Day to Single Taxpayers Supporting Public School Children AND Single Dad Cries For Help
Rockford, IL – Local Taxpayers, about 3,000 out of the 150,000 Rockford area population, gathered today to celebrate Father’s Day. “I want to thank the breeding parents and single parents of Rockford for allowing me to help put their child through
Read More