Endangered Alligator Found Napping Near Whitman Street Bridge and Rock River

Rockford, IL –  Lawrence Bottums, 47 and homeless, was taking a nice nap in an abandoned boat near the Whitman Street bridge when he had to go pee pee.   Bottums calls the bridge “my favorite place in town to

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City Prepares to See Art and then Drink Beer – Fall ArtSeen 2013!

Rockford, IL – The very popular city-wide event, ArtSeen, is going on this weekend in the Forest City of Dreams and Hope.  ArtSeen 2013 will be everywhere, from downtown to the far east side.   People will be everywhere looking

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Local Man Wakes Up Happy After Years of Bending Over For Rockford Area Morons

Rockford, IL –  This is a story of hope, change and progress for all Rockfordians considering a major change and move.  Lawrence Egon Spengler, 34, was named after his father’s favorite Ghostbuster, played by Harold Ramis in the popular 1980s

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FEMA Provides SOAP to Rockford

Rockford, IL – The city-wide flooding that has occurred nowhere else in the world this week due to strange thunder storms signaling the possible end of times has provided FEMA a reason to finally help locals. They who have been

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Scrambled and Battered

ROCKFORD- at least 14 eggs were scrambled to death and 12 pieces of toast were battered this morning on the far west side of the city. No more information is available at this time.  

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Bird Flu Season is upon us.

ROCKFORD, IL – A girl of five is being treated in a Rochellian hospital in the first case of H767334N96453332 “bird flu” reported by Midwest Official Flu & Virus Unit #98. The child, whose parents are poultry traders by day

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