Breaking News
Bye bye 2021 happy 2022 rockford smells still New Year: Covid Update
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms
...0I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0
“Gunshots or Fireworks?” – Poor & Violent Illinois City Plans For 4th of July Weekend Drinking Games

Rockford, IL – Celebrating freedom comes with a price for the citizens of The Rockford of Illinois.
The poor, little, violent village located 70 miles outside of Chicago on the edge of Wisconsin is gearing up for another weekend of holiday drinking games. Locals are stocking up with alcoholic beverages and preparing their 6th senses to play games like, “Were those gunshots or fireworks? Go!”
(It’s not that funny. It’s not what you make of it. It’s not how postive you think you need to be. It’s not what you put into it that you’ll get out of it. It’s not about mind over matter and pretending that the grass isn’t as green elsewhere and that this is all OK. It’s not OK. It’s The Rockford and it’s all about you and me leaving as soon as possoble so that those who are OK with it all can enjoy another weekend of holiday drinking games such as “Were those gun shots or fireworks?”.)
It’s not that funny anymore. We hope all of you take this weekend to plan your escape from Illinois for good. Do it as soon as possible before you’re desensitized to all of the bullshit civic pride, poverty, unemployment, hillbilly elitism, corruption, crime and economic ruin that has buried the people of Illinois in its own complacency and depression.
– Theodore Lepolli
2.14
Related Articles
Goldfish Finally Realizes He Can Go Nowhere In Life
ROCKFORD, IL – A goldfish realized that he can go nowhere and he will die in a small see-thru glass
Free Baptisms, Free Music, BYODC, Tonight!
BYODC: Bring your own dry clothes, 7pm tonight. Rockford, IL – Tonight, at 7pm, at Heartland Community Church in Rockford,
Couple Attacked by Real Original Rockford Area Musician
Rockford IL — Local music lovers, Greg and Harriet Starks, were enjoying a nice night out by listening to live
No comments
Write a commentWrite a Comment
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: