Health & Fashion Solutions For Stopping Rockford Crime Spree

14 Jan, 2015

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Rockford, IL – The promise of a new year brings great hope for the Rockford community.  Transformation, hotels, sports complexes, a train line and another Walgreens, Portillo’s and Starbucks are on the horizon, but not if the recent murder spree is on the rise. “2014 was an amazing step for exploring internet emotions and community rallies to improve vision, but 2015 is NOT starting off the way we’d like it to,” says Geraldine Spers.

Spers is the Northern Illinois Community Specialist for Stopping Crime Sprees.  She was appointed by President Bush Jr. in 2005 and has been stationed in Rockford, IL since to work closely with community leaders to stop crime from infiltrating our safest neighborhoods.

“Stopping crime starts at home, not by calling the police,” adds Spers.

RKFdnews has a list of solutions for helping Rockford with putting an end to crime in our neighborhoods in 2015:

• Pick up your socks from the street
• Pick up your shoes from the street
• Pick up your neighbors socks and shoes from the streets
• Pick yourselves up from the street
• Drive your motorized Rascals on side streets, not main streets
• Use more soap
• Use some water with soap to cleanse your body
• Wash your clothes regularly
• Change your panties, bras, boxers, socks and undergarments once a day
• Use more soap altogether
• Try some deodorant
• Leave your kids at home when you shop for food
• Turn off your cell phones when you leave the house
• Leave your cell phone in your purse or pocket (powered off for safety)
• Do not turn on your phone to check your messages
• Do not turn on your phone to photograph your food
• Leave your guns at home
• Always carry a kitchen knife
• Stay away from other people
• Lock yourself inside and cry
• Cry for change
• Hope for transformation
• Get drunk, throw up and pass out
• Life is but a dream
• Now you are dreaming
• Everything is ok when you are sleeping
• Life is what you make of it
• Change your perspective
• Attitude is everything
• Dream of orgies, oceans and sunshine
• Stay positive
• Work hard
• Be kind
• Good things will come to you, or not
• Use more hashtags
• Be #blessed
• Be #grateful
• Wake up fresh, slightly hungover and use more soap
• Cleanse your body once more for the last time
• Towel dry
• No need to dress yourself today, towel only
• Find a rope and create a noose
• Hang in there, you’ll get it

Alright. That should do it for tonight.

Alonzo Bottums