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School Board Dividing New Mega Schools According to Nationality for Rick Springfield’s Efficiency
Rockford, IL – RPS205309 (the Rockford Public School District) representatives have been trying to explain to the community that the recent announcement of 9 schools being closed in the next year will be better for efficiency stuff and things, stats, or whatever.
Louis Debbs, head of something financially vague with the school board said, “School Board to Demolish Neighborhood Schools, Divide New Mega Schools According to Nationality for Rick Springfield’s Efficiency.” RKFDnews asked Dobbs what he meant, “You know, help the Rockford feel better. Rick has nice hair. All of Rockford should have nice hair.“
In related local news, Rick Springfield–the 1980s heartthrob / soap star / and pop singer–told RKFDnews that he consistently has to explain to fans from the Rockford region that Tommy Tutone wrote the hit song “867-5309 / Jenny.” Springfield added, “WTF? I don’t know “Jenny,” but I knew “Jessie’s Girl” quite well. I’ve known a few Rockford mommies, too. Sing with me, baby.”
Dr. Levon Schofield, the former RPS205309 school board director is laughing at her former employer, the city, and community from afar. True story!
You and Jay and PR Etc. and KMK Media will learn more when we know less or whatever.™
– Gilbert Grebner
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