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Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to cry for its resurrection on the internets. The poor old brick building that everyone is crying about on the internet has no cause of
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Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific events of 6/25 in downtown Rockford, Illinois. No further information is known about the deceased, empty factory building that once employed human beings. Remnants
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Rockfordians Already Living in Trump’s Hateful Reality of America for Decades
Rockford, IL — Locals aren’t surprised by this year’s national election result winner for the highest executive government job in America. “Look at us, look at Rockford. We’ve been seasoned by amateur leaders for decades, son. America finally took notice of
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Rockford Families Make Pretty Fall Photos Now (Winter Is Coming!) Hurry to Starbucks and Buy Grandé #PumpkinSpiceLatte! Take nice internet photos for Rockford Facebook
Rockford, IL— Families all over Rockford are visiting state parks and pretty areas with many trees and leaves—especially rich white people’s big back yards in nearby counties with cheaper property taxes—to take photos for the internet. Hurry now to capture Autumn
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Third Grader Receives National Arts Award for Drawing the City of Rockford
Rockford, IL — Mrs. Krumbsheck asked her students to draw what they loved most about their hometown, and that is exactly what Larry Donaldson did and then some. Donaldson, a ten year old third grader at Rockford Christian Pride and
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FBI Finally Ranks Rockford #1 as Most Dangerous American City — Congrats!
(Image Courtesy of Alexbaumgarner via Wikimedia Commons) Rockford, IL — The FBI’s 2016-2016 Uniform Crime Report was released this week. Rockford, Illinois is now the #1 most Dangerous American city based on crimes being committed with a population of 200,00 Geese
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