Posts From Nate, Brother of Gene
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Large Disorderly Subjects (Lovers) Reported By Local Facebook Celebrity
Rockford, IL – Another beautiful, abstract news tip was passed to us by Rockford Scanner, one of our many Local Facebook Celebrities: “Maple & Lee ~ Large group of disorderly subjects” RKFDNews.com has the details, that’s what we do best
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Extremely Drunk Guy Flees McD’s For Wendy’s Chocolate Ice Cream
Rockford, IL – Thank you to RockfordScanner.com for the news tip. To quote them directly from their Facebook page, which 20,000 estimated idiots like ourselves follow (we do it for RKFD research): Extremely drunk guy attacking people and McDonalds employees
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Chris Chelios Blames Jay Cutler For Packers Loss
Green Bay Packer fans along with their biggest-super-Packer fan, Chris Chelios, reacted to their team’s loss tonight by turning to online rioting, and by burning jerseys of Chicago Bears quarterback, Jay Cutler. Chelios was seen partying with his Packer fan
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Dixon Man Fired After Working Hard & Long For 22 Years
Dixon, IL – Marko Dontaglio, veteran janitor and state employee, worked his butt off for 22 years at Dixon City Hall. Dontaglio was greeted with walking papers late last week. Agitated and seeking answers, he was told, “You are an
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“The Master” Causes Local Protest at Showplace 16
The new movie, The Master, from director/writer, Paul Thomas Anderson, aka, P.T. Anderson, caused confusion at the Showplace 16 in Rockford, IL this weekend. Locals walked out of the theater protesting the film because of some of the film’s scene’s–
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State’s Attorney Says No To Squirt Guns, Yes To Vowels
Rockford, IL- State’s Attorney, Joe Bruscato, disappointed the Winnebago County Board and many local Caucasians last night by telling them that he does not support Conceal Carry of Squirt Guns. The room appeared disgruntled and quite pasty with his opinions.
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