Posts From Tchad Beale
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Drinking the Rockford Flavored Coffee Causes Mental Breakdowns in Positivity
Rockford, IL – A new report that was released by the Museum of Science and Rockford Industry this week states that emotional breakdowns are on the rise amongst community leaders, artists, and public sector sheep who preach positivity as a
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Rockford Named Jizz City, USA
Rockford, IL – America’s contributions to world culture includes jazz, baseball (debatable), soda pop, Levis, the Simpsons, Baywatch, commercialized evangelism, hip-hop, country-pop music (the bad kind, circa 1985 to present) , hillbilly pride, ebonics, cheap beer, skunk weed, porn and
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Rockford Register Star’s Mommy & Daddy Company Files For Bankruptcy
Rockford, IL – We here at RKFDnews.com have been waiting a few weeks for this noose to break. We want to send hugs and good wishes (positive, keep smiling, Rockford styled, bending over wishes) to our compadres at the Rockford
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Lady Arrested For Poisoning Family With Homemade Lasagna
Rockford, IL – Ginger Bred, 51 year old mother of three and once-proud wife of her husband John Bred, was arrested for poisoning her family with homemade lasagna this week. Mrs. Bred is currently being institutionalized in Joliet, IL because
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FEMA Provides SOAP to Rockford
Rockford, IL – The city-wide flooding that has occurred nowhere else in the world this week due to strange thunder storms signaling the possible end of times has provided FEMA a reason to finally help locals. They who have been
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AMATEUR Sports Complex Approved – AMATEUR Bidding For Smoke & Mirrors Marketing Budget Starts Now!
Rockford, IL – The City of Rockford’s tourism bureau, RACVB (or Go Rockford!) and all of their backdoor deal makers discovered they were 15.5 million dollars short last year to build a modern, AMATEUR sports facility project in downtown Rockford.
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