RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People
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Large Rabbit Mauls Woman
An out-of-control, 200-pound rabbit named “Sunshine” that had recently been given Xanax apparently went berserk and mauled a woman in Rockford, leaving her in critical condition. The owner of the rabbit Jayrod Hennigren stabbed him multiple times after the Monday
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Single Pregnant Man Calls Rockford Home
Rockford, IL – Jeremy Rogers, 31, is the world’s first pregnant man. He tells us, “I can’t wait to be the first official single dad from Rockford, IL. My child will know our name with or without mommie.” Rogers told
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Yahoo Finance Implies Rockford is #2 American City to be Done For… Duh
Rockford, IL – Yahoo Finance published a report listing 10 American cities that will not recover from the Great Recession. The irony is that Rockford never recovered from the late 70s-early 80s recession which began the four decade defeat of
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Rockford Area High School Athletes Top Country in Hirings and Arrests
Rockford, IL – Shocking new studies provided to us by the NANAHWA (National Alliance of Nepotistic Athleticism For a Healthier Working America) shows that Rockford, IL and the Winnebago County area’s finest high school athlete students are leading the country
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Father Yes Son
HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA ROCKFORD SCANNER hahahhahahhaha HAHAHAHHAHAHAA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ROCKFORD SCANNER BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA ROCKFORD SCANNER
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Rockford Principals Enjoy Tuesday Threesomes Together
Rockford, IL – Three fellow principals from a RPS205 high school, Jailford, middle school, Tacovelt and a special one from the catholic h.s., Druggylan, have been sharing a mutual hunger for the same thing tax-payers do. Tax payers want to
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