RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People

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Downtown Vigil Rallies City Against Forbes Meanies

Rockford, IL – Local artists and politicians rallied last night in downtown Rockford to pray for everyone working for Forbes Magazine.  We were there to talk to a bunch of local celebrities, so that if someone inside of Forbes Magazine

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Misery Loves Your City’s Cream Puffs: Chief Tchad Beale’s State of The City’s Address to the Mayor and it’s Community’s Aspiring Cream Puffs

  Rockford, IL – Editor and tribal leader of RKFDNews.com, Chief Tchad Beale, provides a state of the city address response to the Mayor and to the miserably original City of Rockford. Dear Poor People of Rockford, IL,   I

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GAP Store Returns To Rockford

Fuckford, IL – Guess what’s coming back to Rockford? The very popular clothing store, GAP, is building a clearance rack warehouse with an adjoining storefront and fruit juice bar at Perryvillage & Wrote (more sh!t for you) roads.  It left

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RPSDD 205 Lowers High School Athletes’ GPA To Raise Better Linemen, Fullbacks, and some Tight Ends

Rockford, IL – According to ESPN‘s popular news show, “Outside The Lines“, the miserably hilarious Rockford Public School District of Dreams 205 (RPSDD205) came up with a solution for raising future NFL defensive and offensive lineman, a few middle linebackers and a decent

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Foul Odor Reported; Methane From Polling Places Blamed

Loves Park, IL – Coastal residents near The Mighty Rock awoke to a foul odor last week that probably was caused by a large release of methane in the polling places authorities said. Fire departments in Rkfd and Loves Park

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TEDx Returns to Rockford, Idea Makers Gather For Story Hour Day, Many Prepare to Drink Coffee

Rockford, IL – TEDx is back and he wants to hear your ideas, Rockford!  Today’s event, TEDxRockfordLive, will feature lots of coffee and stories from locals about ideas and stuff.  Word is that everyone will walk away inspired to make

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